Monday, January 22, 2018

Cat's All, Folks!

Egad! 'Neath the door something seeps
A shadowy horror now creeps
Is it cat or a man?
Guess it's catch as cat can
Either baddie will gore you for keeps.

Horror stains the floorboards in The Leopard Man (Jacques Tourneur; 1943).

Sunday, January 21, 2018

A Blutonic Relationship

He's a hooligan, bear-like, a slob
With unruly black hair round his gob
But to bop Bluto's bean
For ol' Popeye's routine
Then the fool's tossed away with one lob.

David Cairn

Bluto and Popeye square off in Bridge Ahoy! (1936). Title by Donald "B is for Bluto" Benson.

Friday, January 19, 2018

For All the Dwight Reasons

Why the focus on Frye? 'Cause he's hip!
As a jokester, the guy is a pip
He'll act nuts, play the fool
Here a klutz, there a tool   
Holy smokes! There's a fly! Watch him flip!

Dwight Frye as Renfield and Edward Van Sloan as Van Helsing in Dracula (Tod Browning; 1931). Title by the unreasoning Donald B. Benson.

Thursday, January 18, 2018

Double Leopard-y

A poor child met big game, it was chilling!
Is the wild cat to blame for this killing?
Or has Jack-off the Ripper
Dressed in black, with no zipper
And, thus styled, quite untamed, gone blood-spilling?

David Cairns

Dr. Galbraith (James Bell) and Kiki (Jean Brooks).in The Leopard Man (Jacques Tourneur; 1943). Apparently the same black leopard (named "Dynamite") used in Cat People, another Val Lewton production, was brought back for this film.

Wednesday, January 17, 2018

Die Card

The suit of the ace that you picked
The future you face does predict
Can't take your new fate?
Don't awaken a hate --
A brute will give chase,'re licked.

Clo-Clo (Margo) visits Maria the Fortune Teller (Isabel Jewell) in The Leopard Man (Jacques Tourneur; 1943).

Tuesday, January 16, 2018

Misery Date

You sit in the boneyard and stew
Just crypts of cold stone and poor you
Your date never shows
Cruel fate, you see, blows  
It's the pits all alone, and then...BOO!

Consuelo (Tula Parma) is locked inside a cemetery with The Leopard Man (Jacques Tourneur; 1943).

Monday, January 15, 2018

Look Who the Cat Dragged In

You're sent shopping in spite of the hour
Your heart stopping from fright as you cower
Get as far as the door
There's a snarl! Then there's gore! 
Get a mop! What a sight! All that flour!         

The Leopard Man (Jacques Tourneur; 1943); The mother of Teresa Delgado ( Margaret Landry) forces her to go out at night to buy corn flour for tortillas. Title by Donald Benson, in drag.

Sunday, January 14, 2018

Gob Story

This here mate, big of chin, unrefined,
A debate cannot win...with his mind
But prevails in all tussles
By upscaling his muscles
Which inflate when on spinach he's dined.

That mate, of course, is Popeye the Sailor (Dave Fleischer; 1933).

Saturday, January 13, 2018

Petty Poop

With a lout in the White House we're trapped
By the out there Alt-Right he's held rapt
Words he spews, late night tweets,
Just fake news he repeats
All he spouts is pure shite someone crapped.

Title by David Cairns, who also suggested the titles TURD REICH, PRESIDENT EVIL, and OVAL ORIFICE. Painting by Joe Simko (after Tom Bunk) for the Garbage Pail Kids.

Friday, January 12, 2018

The No-Goodnik, the Mad and the Pug-Ugly

While the storm is the pits, cold and rainy,
True to form, hunchback Fritz plays it zany
When the creature restarts
It lacks speech and all smarts
It's abnormally witless, bad-brainy.

Dwight Frye, Colin Clive, and the monster of Frankenstein (James Whale; 1931).

Thursday, January 11, 2018

Catch as Cat Can

A leopard is loose in the streets
There's jeopardy: pussycat eats!
It stalks and it slaughters
Please lock up your daughters
This hepcat craves juicy red meats!

David Cairns

Margaret Landry as Teresa Delgado makes a fateful trip to the bodega in The Leopard Man (Jacques Tourneur; 1943).

Wednesday, January 10, 2018

Clo-Clo’s No-No

Rat-tat-tat! Clo-Clo clicks castanets
Scares a cat, giving chicks the cold sweats
Something's stirred, on the prowl
Commits murder most foul
When she's scratched Clo-Clo quickly regrets.

Nightclub entertainer Clo-Clo (Margo) stirs up trouble in The Leopard Man (Jacques Tourneur; 1943). Title by no-it-all Donald Benson.

Tuesday, January 9, 2018

Dead Sea Roles

Skelton Knaggs plays a mute who's a mate
Looking haggard, ill-suited, third-rate
But though lacking a tongue
This man-jack, venting lung
Quite ungagged, will astutely narrate.

David Cairns

Skelton Knaggs is "Finn the Mute," who narrates the Val Lewton production, The Ghost Ship (Mark Robson; 1943).